Icha Icha Partying InochiNauto
by YaoiSmutMaster
Summary: The main pairing is Inochi/Naruto. More info inside.


Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. I write the characters according to my own views about them. In addition, I write them how I think they will react in the situations I place them in. So please refrain from leaving reviews stating they are OOC, since each person interprets such things differently.

Happy Birthday Jiraiya!!!

Ok first off I want to thank animeluney, for helping me out with editing this fic. I love you dearly!~kisses~

This is an entry into the **Rare Naruto Pairings Contest**. This was the prompt:

_It was a happy November Birthday party. All the guests were having fun and eating the extremely delicious cake. Everything was going smoothly when gradually; the guests start to act weird. It turns out that the birthday cake was spiked! _

I hope I got it at least somewhat right. ~sweatdrop~

Warnings:

My humor~laughs~. Oh and this story is fucking insane! Read at your own risk! You have been warned! ~evil laugh~

The main pairing is Inochi/Naruto

**Icha Icha Partying**

"I am so glad you could all make it," Jiraiya squeezes Orochimaru's hand and looks at him with pure adoration. "This birthday is even more special, since my true love is now back in Konoha."

The two elder Sannins kiss lovingly in front of the many clapping guests. Everyone had been quite surprised to learn, that the two older ninjas had such an enduring love. All Jiraiya had to do that day, in order to protect the Third Hokage's life, was to tell Orochimaru that he still loved him like nothing else in this world. That the snake master, was the only person he would bow to and present his soul as a gift.

"Please ninjas and ninjettes help yourself to the sake," which is extremely plentiful. "And don't forget this scrumptious looking cake, our sweet kunoichi sister Tsunade baked, to celebrate me getting even older."

Everyone laughed heartily at that last statement. For a shinobi who can be quite reckless, it is amazing to see him still kicking.

"I love you Jir-chan, and I promise you my sweet love, we will have forever." Orochimaru grabs his white haired lover, and tries his best to kiss the man into unconsciousness.

Whopping sounds and whistles crowd the air as the two old men swap spit like true champions. Jiraiya looks as if he is seeing angels and Orochimaru seems to be having a hard time not ripping his Jir-chan's pants off.

"Hey get a damn room you old slutty pervs!" Kiba smiles broadly and walks up to the two men. "Unless you're going to share that mean loving with the rest of us." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Breaking apart in shock, both men take appreciative looks at Kiba's youthful physique. Oh yeah, something young and tasty would really make this celebration pop.

"Well sweetie, why don't you follow us? I'm sure these two old dogs can learn a few things from you." Orochimaru purrs at the dog shinobi.

Kiba gives then both a seductive and innocent batting of eye lashes. "To be honest, I was hoping you can show me what it takes to really please a man."

Jiraiya grabs Kiba and tosses him into Orochimaru's waiting arms. "That's our cue Oro-sensei; let's get this class in session."

With that said, he picks up a couple bottles of sake, slices a thick piece of cake, and slyly gets a can of whip cream. Winking at the other guests, he informs them to have a ball and not to mind the pleasurable screams they will soon hear.

Everyone waves the now threesome goodbye, and turns back to the partying at hand. It seems that every drunk and lush of Konoha is there, drinking up the booze like bar hopping harpies.

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Finally making it to the huge food table, Naruto grabs a big plate and an even bigger knife. The cake there, has been calling to him since he seen it brought in. It is a three-layer cake with lotus blossoms adorning the sides and 56 small toads on lily pads gracing the top. What makes him want to gorge himself though, is that the cake is his favorite kind: chocolate peppermint.

When the woman he calls obaa-san first introduced him to the baked masterpiece, he was quite skeptical of it. After all, he is more of a candy and ramen type of guy; baked goods just had never been his thing. After one taste though, he was undoubtedly hooked!

He still remembers that haughty smug look Tsunade gave him as he extolled her praises. What she said to him next, had really made him like the cake even more, since the peppermint used had a very naughty reference.

_"You know this cake holds a strong sense of nostalgia for me," she began. "When I was young, we used to have **very** creative parties."_

_A devilish look had crossed her face. "My parties were quite popular, since I figured out making homemade peppermint with opium as an ingredient, made the drug even more potent, and inducing of carnal need."_

_Naruto had looked confused, but not wanting to look like an idiot, he did not ask what carnal meant. He did however figure it out, with the Hokage in waiting's next words._

_"The parties would always start at 7 pm," she sat down in a chair next to the stove, crossed her legs, and lit a smoke. "By the time the morning came, the house smelled like a whorehouse running a special." She cackled with nostalgic gaiety. _

Smiling goofily at the memory, Naruto gathers his big plate with his large cake slice and a very warm bottle of sake. He is still in shock that he had made it to the cake before the Akimichis did, turning his head towards the other end of food table, he sees why. Chouji is sitting on his father's lap, looking flushed, as Chouza sweetly feeds flavored rice to his only son.

'No shit!' The blond boy thinks as he sees the young chubby shinobi, slyly move his hand between his father's legs. Chouji then looks around, but since Naruto has squatted behind the cake, he did not see the other boy's prying eyes.

Thinking it is safe, the young inflation shinobi gently squeezes his father's big, fat cock, through black legging type pants they both wear. The older Akimichithen nuzzles his son's neck discreetly, whispering sweet nothings... well Naruto believes he is anyway.

"Wow!' His thoughts are now totally haywire. 'No wonder when I visit, it always seems Chouji's room was just thrown together!' He stares a little longer, somewhat longing, before he once again makes his way to his seat. "I wonder how long that's been going on."

"How long what's been going on dobe?" The Uchiha pops up out of nowhere with his arm draped lazily across his older brother's shoulders. Uchiha Itachi, finally confronted the Council of Elders, after Sasuke found out the truth from a little birdie, compliments of Juugo.

Not wanting to spread business that is not his, he quickly changes the subject. "So are they going to do it?" It being the council making Itachi a village hero.

"Oh they are going to do it alright," Sasuke says mischievously. "Plus, they are going to make Aniki's birthday a holiday."

"Whoa! Really?" Naruto can't help but be impressed, well even more impressed that is. The way Itachi stormed into council chambers, brandishing his blackmail scroll was truly amazing.

"Yeah, and they will acknowledge are vows too." It goes against village policy for same sex incest to be seen as a legal coupling. The Uchiha brothers in their defense or in their case, offense (those Uchihas are some tough cookies) stated that they could have had opposite sex incest relationships, if it had not been for the council.

"So your legally the bitch in the relationship now, heh?" Naruto guffaws loudly at his funny.

Even Itachi snickers until he sees his little brother is not amused, not one bit. Taking his arm roughly from around his older brother, Sasuke gives the older Uchiha a 'someone's definitely not getting no ass tonight' look, before turning blazing cold eyes onto his friend.

Yet, before he can give the blue-eyed shinobi what for, they all hear a scream that has dicks hardening and pussies creaming. It sounds like Kiba is getting more than he bargained for, but definitely is not complaining.

"Damn! What the hell are they doing to him?!" Shikamaru tries to tie his hair up again, only to have his father take it back down. "Whatever it is, save some for me!"

Quite a few people nod in agreement, it sounded like Kiba's ass is being tapped by a hyperactive cock that didn't take its Ritalin! Well, if the panting Lamaze like screams is anything to go by.

"I would love to scream my lungs out too, right about now," Naruto tries to adjust his cock, which is so hard, that a maple bat would be jealous.

"Oh that's right," Sasuke says maliciously. "You're still a virgin! Maybe instead of calling me the bitch, you should try to find out how being one feels!"

Naruto's lips quiver and a look of hurt covers his face. "That was mean teme! You know no one wants me!" He turns, trying to hide his tearing eyes.

"That was quite cruel Outoto," Itachi gives Sasuke a very displeased look, which causes the younger to cower. "You really should apologize."

Sasuke looks at his best friend and cringes at how crestfallen Naruto looks. Pulling the blond shinobi into a hug, the young Uchiha apologizes profusely.

"Naru-chan, I am quite sure there are a lot of people that want you." Sasuke steps back and turns the shorter ninja around. "Look Aniki, who wouldn't want to tackle that ass!"

Itachi gazes at Naruto's plump rear-end and agrees. The blond boy is sporting one hell of 'come fuck me' booty!

"Not many would turn that jiggly rump down." Itachi grabs his brother's rear and massages it adoringly. "I must say though, I am extremely addicted to your tight bunghole, Outoto."

Naruto coyly looks at the frolicking brothers. They are extremely attractive and really experienced. Maybe…

"Hey! Why don't you two make me a man?" He feels so proud of his thinking, that even his dick swells with pride for such a wonderful proposition.

Both brothers look wide eyed before scratching the back of their heads with awkward smiles. They look at Naruto, who already is taking the hint.

"Naruto, we kinda already have our eye on another blonde," Itachi and Sasuke pull Naruto into a group hug. "You know how we are, anymore than one extra might drive us insane with possessive jealousy."

The downtrodden shinobi shakes his head in understanding; the Uchihas are well known to plot the death of an innocent flirt. Still… who would have him?

Sakura, Lee, Kabuto, Shizune and Tsunade, are in a poly-fidelity relationship. He had asked to join, no begged on hands and knees, with his face planted firmly to the ground to them. They would not accept him, they said he was…too innocent. He had been so infuriated! Lee looks like a boy scout on his way to becoming Mother Theresa compared to him!

"I can't fucking believe this, un-fucking-believable!" Anger and sorrow seeping through each word. "Just throw it in my face a little more why don't you!"

The Uchihas look at Naruto with confusion at first, until they see why the sudden outburst. There across the room is Iruka and Kakashi with their very pregnant mate, Shino.

"That just does not look right to me." Sasuke looks at the pregnant master of bugs with distaste. "I'm sorry but, Shino is not the male pregnant type."

His older brother agrees, "Shino is more the strict paternal type, I think."

The brothers continue to give their views about why Shino should not be pregnant, paying no mind to the now angrily heaving Naruto.

"That's because it should have been me, damn it!" Naruto's eyes actually tinge red with fury.

Itachi and Sasuke look at their friend with worry. It has been six months since the blonde was replaced with a brunette. So much for blondes having all the fun.

"Hey dobe, you're going to have to let that shit go," Sasuke grabs both of his friend's shoulders. "They're not worth it, okay?"

"It's time to go forward," Itachi comes up behind his brother, adding to the support. "Once you find someone really worthwhile, you'll wonder why you wasted your time on those worthless idiots in the first place."

Naruto slumps forward a little his eyes dulling slightly. He not only wants someone to accept him, but keep him too. Then again, why is it so hard to even get a lay?

"Maybe I shouldn't have made them wait," he looks at the triad, regret showing in his eyes. "Then I would be the soon to be papa." He turns and gives his best friends a saucy look. "I would look a thousand times hotter prego, then bug boy there."

They all laugh, since…it is the truth. Naruto would look adorable pregnant, and even Tsunade said he has a knack with kids.

"You weren't wrong for making them wait Naru-chan," Itachi gazes seriously at the boy. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to become more integrated in a relationship. Especially where two of the people involved already have been together for quite some time."

Sasuke nods, "Just think how crushed you would have been, if you had given them your virginity."

The blond shinobi tremors in fear of that thought. He might have openend up a can of Kyuubi whoop ass, not consciously of course.

A small clay bird suddenly appears, causing Naruto to jump back from his friends. The bird hovers gently above Itachi's hand, before bursting and leaving a message in the air.

**"Ready to get my ass tapped and my dick waxed, yeah! Waiting outside for you huns."**

"He is so vulgar," Sasuke says with a sexual gleam, "but Kami I love it, especially when he uses those tongues on my…"

"TMI teme!" Naruto is already sexually frustrated; no more help is needed to give him premature ejaculation syndrome.

"Heh, sorry dobe," the young Uchiha says sheepishly. "Look, we'll see you tomorrow ok?"

Naruto nods and waves good-bye to his lucky friends. Turning in the direction of his secluded seat, he sighs, and once again tries to make his way over there.

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He passes Asuma and Kurnei, gushing and cuddling their pregnant mates Hinata and Hanabi. Boy was he shocked when Hinata finally told him of her crush on him! First thing he asked of course was; is he a part of her little family? The answer: 'Boy please, you're yesterday's goods!' She had not said it that way, but that was the gist.

He waves anyway at them, and gives a false smile. It seems all his chances to become a man have passed him by.

'I might as well join the monkhood. I wonder if they allow you to still whack the meat.'

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Actually, considering temples in the area, his far off gaze snaps back into focus when he sees the Sand Trio.

Kankuro and Sasori are sitting on opposite sides of an annoyed yet content Gaara. The puppeteers are having an overly excited conversation about marionette clowns.

"Ah, another letdown," he says quietly. "Man, they could have really given me a helluva ride." He stares at them with mourning and desire.

Gaara is a very close friend of his, so he knows all about the extremely kinky sessions the three have with each other. Especially, the time they had played a game they had made called "Follow the Puppet."

Sasori had made puppets of all them, and embedded almost every Icha Icha novel made by Jiraya into them. Let us just say, Temari, Ino and TenTen, were less than pleased, when the noise and the stench reached their side of the house.

Gaara looks up and sees Naruto staring. He smiles his non-existent smile and waves.

"Naruto, are you coming to see the puppet rally next week?"

The puppet rally is something Sasori and Kankuro came up with to keep the art alive, also to see if there is any real potential out there. Especially, cute and innocent wannabe puppet shinobi type potential.

Laughing at his thoughts, he nods and continues to his spot.

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Finally reaching his destination, he flops down in his chair. Staring out into the room, he wonders what it is about him that makes people not want to fuck him until he is blind.

He has looked in the mirror many times, to see if he grew ugly. Or he has ran through his list of what he likes, to see if he is as innocent as some have claimed.

'Maybe … it's because of my inner partner,' he thinks sadly.

Hell! It's not his fault that his 'father' left him with an unwanted libido killer!

Becoming morose, he cracks open his bottle of sake and begins to devour his cake. He coos, the cake tastes even better than usual.

********************************************************************************************************************************************************

Starting to feel relaxed, he looks around, seeing if there is anything interesting to look at.

"Not in a million years would I ever even suggest a threesome with those gorgeous snobs."

Directly across the room from him, he sees Hyuuga Hiashi and Neji. Neji's hips are gyrating so fast on his uncle's lap, Naruto is surprised flames aren't sparking from their crotches.

"Kami, they sure are so hot to look at," his hand creeps between his legs. "Mmm, just a little touching won't hurt."

His hand is almost into his fundoshi, when he feels a strong presence suddenly beside him.

"Uh..Inochi-sama," he says, quickly removing his hand. "H-how can I help you?"

The blond boy can just smack the shit out of himself. That sounded so lame and the embarrassment of almost being caught jacking off, has his face looking like a Roman candle.

'My, my, the boy has definitely turned into a nice piece of ass,' Inochi gazes at the boy hungrily.

After Ino was born, his wife found love with a messenger nin and since their marriage was arranged, he gave them his blessing. Inochi is still great friends with her, but he is a little envious that she has found happiness, and still… he has not.

'Well, it seems it is finally in my grasp now though,' his mind whirls with all the things he can do with the boy.

Inochi does not plan to just have the boy limping all the time… well not just from _those_ activities any way. He wants to keep the boy, teach him … love him.

He notices with a start he is still just staring at the boy like a loon. The problem is though, what is he to say? Nervously, he speaks and hopes to seduce… no, um… _persuade_ the boy to be his.

"Naruto-san, you are becoming quite the shinobi," Inochi wants the young man to know he sees him in a positive manner.

Naruto's face flushes as the honorific glides through his senses. "Thank you Inochi-sama, that means a lot coming from you, but..." A feeling of sexual prowess engulfs the boy's mind, as is mouth takes on a sultry smile, "call me Naru-chan." He says in a voice that causes the older man to whimper soundlessly.

"Well, Naru-chan, is it possible to…" Inochi sits very close to the boy, "become better acquainted?"

The blonde boy stares at the man, desire written all over his face. Naruto has never felt this bold before, nor this confident, but he is not going to look a gift horse in the mouth! No sir! This young man is going to take the alpha by the balls!

"Mmm, how acquainted are you willing to become sweetie?" Naruto leans closer to the man's face.

Inochi's mouth waters, the young blonde's lips look so inviting, they are screaming for his!

Seeing that the older shinobi seems paralyzed, Naruto decides to get this 'get together' started. He moves the rest of the way to the bigger mouth, and presses his urgently to it.

Inochi's eyes widen at the feeling of the soft mouth on his. He takes the boy's head into his hands and tilts it, forcing the pert mouth to open for him.

Before another thought can enter the young man's head, Inochi passionately takes the boy's mouth captive. Sucking the little pink tongue into his waiting mouth, the older man plays with it teasingly, the young shinobi moans softly.

As the kiss becomes more intense, so does each man's hands. Inochi's ends up on Naruto's painfully hard crotch.

The boy can only whimper even louder when the older blonde shoves down his pants, allowing Naruto's cock to see the world.

"Ahh," Naruto moans, as Inochi's hand twists the head of his cock gently.

"You're so pretty down there," the older man breathes in deep desire. "Let me get a better feel of you."

He takes Naruto by the arms and drags until the boy is sitting face to face on his lap. Inochi thrusts upward and moans softly, when his still clothed cock brushes the naked one.

"Mmm, I want to play with your positively plump pecker too," the boy, giggles uncontrollably at his funny. He has not ever felt so… light and carefree before.

"Well darling," the older shinobi drawls. "Stick your hand in and say hello."

Naruto unties the baggy pants, pushes them down and then…stares speechless.

"It's so beautiful," his eyes tear up at the magnificent phallus. "I will love it always," he says with worship.

The older man takes his 8-inch cock in one hand and Naruto's in the other. He squeezes the poles together, and both nearly jump out of the seat, amazed at the shooting sensation.

"So good, your dick feels so hot," Naruto whimpers. The older blonde's nut sac rubs heavily on the smaller set, causing shivers to go up and down both males spines. "Fuck, I feel your balls too."

"Nice ass," Inochi squeezes the young soft rump lewdly. "I can't wait to feel it jiggle around my cock."

Naruto laughs aloud at the statement; everything feels so great. Everybody else seems so happy too! Since louder moans and gasps are beginning to be heard.

"Like this sweetheart," Naruto turns suddenly on the older shinobi's lap. Looking back at the now panting ninja, Naruto wiggles his ass against the hard cock.

"Fuck yeah!" The older blonde thrusts quickly against the moving ass. "Oh, I can't wait!"

Naruto's eyes close, the hard cock moving on his ass, has his own rod crying. He turns back around and cries out, since at that very moment Inochi thrusts hard.

"Don't stop lover boy," Naruto begins to hump against the other cock maddeningly. "I want to cum all over your dick."

Hearing the erotic words from the young man is enough for Inochi to crush the boy's body to his and roughly rub his cock against the other's.

"Yeah, tell me how much you want this cock," the older man can't get enough of his name now falling from Naruto's lips.

Naruto's head begins roll, the heat infusing his body, feels as if he is turning into a human torch. As his testicles tighten and rise, he can't help but wonder if his cum will burn coming out.

"Fuck, fuck, I want to feel you're cum too," he moans. "Give me that cream old man."

"Ah, ah take it boy!" Inochi's ass cheeks squeeze together painfully as his cock spills its contents all over the boy's penis. "More, I need more of you."

All that cock juice washing over his sensitive prick did the poor little ninja in fiercely. Letting out a yell that brought a few people out of their own lustful stupors, the blonde boy also gets one hell of a surprise. His own semen shooting into his own mouth.

"Damn," Inochi whispers as the boy sputters and gulps his own seed. "You really were due for some loving, weren't you boy?"


End file.
